no time for this shit anymore. i'm sorry to everyone who loved reading about my life so much. you'll have to find a way to stalk me on facebook now.

nothing but love.

for everyone.

yes, even you.

lets hear it for life changes.

xo

uuuuuuugh

this morning is a complete reminder of why i refuse to drink if i'm working the next day.

ended up at the strip club last night??????????????

hahah i don't even know anymore.

ton of shit to catch up on, but no time to do it.

just stay tuned, kiddos!

i'm going to get my hair diiiiiiid
<3

fresh startttttttt

tomorrow is the day

i don't think i've ever been this weirded out about starting something new before. i don't know what it is...maybe just because i was so comfortable with everything for the past 16 months. maybe its because i have to prove myself all over again. maybe i'm just plain insane hah. probably the last one...but i'm in a different world today.

i can't really remember, but i'm sure i was like this when i started at the institute too. my mind just goes crazy...but at least everyone was starting at once there. i hate being the new kid in the crowd.

we'll see, we'll see......

i finally talked to/saw julia today. which kind of settled me down a bit, but freaked me out at the same time. she started work last week and said its just not the same as school. so at least i know no one's gunna have as much fun as we did there haha. if i was the only one not loving it i would be pretty disappointed.

my fucking standards are way too high right now. i'd just like to read this entry 6 months from now and be laughing...with joy....cause my job rules. i can only hope i guess.

blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

misses and kisses

there's something about being a little tipsy this early that makes me really excited haha.

i went out for dinner with my parents and sister and had a god-awesome time. i love those bitches more than i ever have lately haha. no matter how many years i hated them. thats a lie...i never hated.

came home, talked to tyler a bit on msn. it made me miss him way too much.

some of the more memorable quotes of the convo:
"Ty. says:
i only had 1.5hrs sleep
Ty. says:
last night
nikki cupcake. says:
bahahahahhaha
nikki cupcake. says:
why
Ty. says:
and im going out tonight
nikki cupcake. says:
you cant go out tonight
Ty. says:
grapefruit
Ty. says:
and ummm
Ty. says:
i picked up
nikki cupcake. says:
just go get some redbulls
nikki cupcake. says:
picked up who!
Ty. says:
a non mexican
nikki cupcake. says:
HAHAHAHAH
nikki cupcake. says:
i love you
Ty. says:
a cute caucasion
nikki cupcake. says:
whoa
Ty. says:
actually
nikki cupcake. says:
not even an asian
nikki cupcake. says:
i'm impressed babe"

"nikki cupcake. says:
i wanna come to buddies soon
Ty. says:
i love u tho
nikki cupcake. says:
soon!
nikki cupcake. says:
i love you too
Ty. says:
yes
Ty. says:
u can sleep here!
nikki cupcake. says:
yay!
Ty. says:
145!
nikki cupcake. says:
okay a coup;le weeks from now
nikki cupcake. says:
its a date
nikki cupcake. says:
awww i miss 145
Ty. says:
we can play the rape game!
Ty. says:
deal
nikki cupcake. says:
hahahaha yay!"

"Ty. says:
muah!
nikki cupcake. says:
thanks hun
nikki cupcake. says:
kisses xo
Ty. says:
kiss kiss, hug hug
Ty. says:
tongue tongue
nikki cupcake. says:
hahaha
Ty. says:
shocker
nikki cupcake. says:
penis pensi
nikki cupcake. says:
hahahahahah
nikki cupcake. says:
okay okay
nikki cupcake. says:
go sleep"

there's something about having a gay boyfriend/best friend thats different from normal dudes or girls.

some weird in between relationship ahah.

i'm sure no one will even find any of that funny, but i don't give a care!

this week has been insane.

saturday -....today ahah party non stop.

shout outs to mah boi, all my girls, and anyone else who has helped to make these past two weeks some of the best ones of my life!

it makes me never want to work again.

13 more minutes until the fucking "F" gets started! one more day bitchesssssss!

i make no sense and i love it.

<3!!

smitten.

:)!

song obsessions and night time rampages.

its weird that the only long weekend i actually get in like years isn't even really a long weekend...cause i'm on like a two week vacation ahha.

figures. at least everyone else is in the party mood though. makes things a lot funner!

the other night my brother had his little going away bbq, so i made kelly come with me. since i obviously don't hang around my brother much ahah and don't know many of his friends.

we had a nice pre-pre-drink party with just the two of us hah.

so we stayed there for a while, then jenny came to get us to go to chris supapols. totally didn't spell that right. whatever you can all spell it out ahha. it was his birthday so he was having some people over before they went to the bar. i went for the party, but not to the bar. totally had to go into oakville the next morning, but i'll get to that.

so chris' was a good time. caught up with a couple people i hadn't seen in a while. made fun of everyone for being old....well, older than me haah. yep, it was a good time. i wish i could have gone out everyone was giving me shit for not coming haha but i couldn't help it. i didn't think a thursday night would be such an eventful one. but then again like i said, i haven't had a real long weekend in forever. or

normal weekend even.

sooooooooooooo, on friday morning i went in to speak with the managers at oakville. i didn't really know what to expect, if it was a meeting or an interview or whatever...but it was basically just like a meeting to show me the salon and talk about my position and when i'll be starting, etc etc etc.

so i'm pretty stoked about that! its a beautiful salon. and everyone there seems pretty nice. i'll be shadowing for the first month, which kind of sucks cause i feel like its setting me back. i feel like after all the advanced courses and everyhting i took i should be able to start on the floor right away, but i understand their process of it i guess.

sat around all yesterday as per usual, went to get coffee around like 730 i guess. ran into basscakes who kept me company until brad got there. we had a drink, went to the lic-bo, and went and watched the simpsons movie while we started our night ahah.

everyone was fucking busy until like 930. but it all worked out. boobs came over, we got a cab to the poacher, hung out there for the rest of the night. it was nice to see sarah before she leaves for ottawa! hopefully see her again before friday. caught up with katie a bunch too...and made fun of a certain fucking idiot who won't die already ahah!

no pictures though. i was all wined out.

toniiiiiiiiight tonight. i think i'm gunna end up going over to stef and tupps'. nikki o called me this morning and said i should be there...and i'm pretty sure thats where everyone else is gunna be, so i think i might have to be

there!! haha.

i love life.<3

i gotta shake it with you, you gotta shake it with me

so much mstrkrft lately i love it.

summer fucking anthems.

my spacebar is half broken, so if you see words attached its just cause i'm too lazy to go back and fix the fact it didnt catch.

went to confederation park the other day. it fucking ruled. i wish i had a waterpark in my backyard ahah...or at least a pool. maybe not a wave pool, the whole non swimming thing wouldn't really work with me on that one ahah.

everyone's always pretty astonished when i tell them i can't swim. boobs said he would teach me this summer ahah. i would be stoked if that actually happened. it would make me love pools so much more than i already do. and its already a pretty big love for them.

anyways, back tothe waterpark. picked nancy and steph up around 1230 and started driving there, and just as we were about to merge onto the qew niagara nancys mom called and she still had their keys so i had to bolt it off the highway and drive back to her place. i didn't mind, but we didn't get there until about 130.

hit up the wave pool for a bit i just hung onto the tube as much as i could ahha my muscles are still killing me.

did some tube slides, got dirty chlorine water in my face, did the lazy river....thats what i need in my fucking backyard is a lazy river haha i would die.

went for lunch and nancy and steph kept feeding the seagulls. they didn't like the camera much, they kept running away from it ahha. defence mechinism. i hated my life.

after lunch nancy tried to hold my hand on the lazy river and steph called us out on it haah.

went in the wave pool again and got swarmed by a million bugs for some reason. they were all over my fucking face and the tube. decided to call it a day after that. its weird cause those same bugs were attacking caits yellow shirt later that night, and the tube was yellow. i think its some kind of new bug that loves yellow. i dont know. weird though.

but apparently you can go after 4 and its only half price, so i think we'll be going back there one hot night sometimes soon. i would def be down.

yesterday did nothing all day except for slept. its been amazing having sort of a summer vacation. not having to do anything ever, sleeping as much as i want, staying out knowing i don't have to work allday the next day.

i love it. went to tims around 8 and sat with kay bailey for a bit while i waited for cait to show up after she got back fromwork. he's studying for another test of some sort for his paramedic stuff...i looked at his book for about two seconds before i got confused ahah. i don't know how he does it.

sat around there for a bit, then went up to jays with nancy and wally to watch 300. i didn't expect it to be as good as it was. i really didn't know what to expect, but it was a pretty fucking good movie.

totally have a crush on gerard butler after that. holy fuck. i think i have a thing for older men lately ahahahah its kind of creeping me out. is that wrong?

such a dreamboat.......

anyways, jays house is beautiful. i hadn't been up there since they moved in. its fucking huge...and had the biggest couch in the world ahah. i felt so tiny on it. it ruled.

i had to go on a search today just to find my camera connector thing. ubs
whatever its called. my room is such a disaster. boxes and bags is what im living out of ahha. my brother moves on saturday, and then i can get settled in downstairs. i'm never really home for it to matter much anyways...and i kind of like my matress on the ground. it makes it easier to pass out when i come home. i just dive and sleep hah.

tims in a bit , meeting up with lauren later!!! haven't seen her since i got home, i'm stoked.

then my bros having a going away bbq tonight which means i get to start the party extra early ahah. stick around here for a while probably then go hang out with jessa and kelly. whos knows what trouble i'll get up to after that. all i know is i fucking love summer. and never want these next two weeks to end.
except for the fact i have 15$ to my name which will definetly be spent in about an hour. BUT, visa did up my limit to 2500$....hahahaha bad news. but at least i know i have money for the next week and a half. i'll pay it back eventually....

fuck i hate credit cards.

get at me tonight!

<3

summer vaca

home is amazing so far!

im so happy here. happy happy happy! i didn't realize how actually unhappy ive been the past months until recently ahah. its weird. i was like stuck in a vortex ahahha. or hypnotized or something.

we're going to confederation park tomorrow. i'm pretty excited to soak up the sun all day long.

and probably catch some sort of disease ahhahaha... or die froma chlorine overload.

i haven't been to a water park in a long time. i actually don't even know how to swim, but i like to wade in the water. me and the lazy river are basically best friends.

i gotta start getting my shit in order.

i need to call oakville tomorrow and figure out a time to go talk to them, then start shopping around for cars which i'm pretty excited about. but its gunna be broke city for a little while. i guess i dealt with it for a year and a half, i can stick it out for a little longer haha.

some pictures from the st. alvia show on wednesday night.

definetly a good time! hopefully many more good nights this summer. i feel like its just started, even though its half over.

okay okay enough of this. i'm going to watch a movie.

<3

woweeee

i'm suprisingly actually getting sad that i'm leaving.

my apartment is all packed up, i'm about to go for my last night's sleep. and its a little depressing.

i guess just more the fact i'm leaving my family that i've had for the last year and a half. i fucking love them more than i can ever explain. something about basically living with a ton of people that are all so different, and we all have the most fun ever together.

the hardest part is going to be not seeing julia everyday. fuck.

but i guess thats how it was when i moved away from all my friends in burlington. now i get to see them all again more and more and more!

haha. on a brighter note, i got new tail combs today! i don't think anyone who actually lurks this shit will understand my excitement. but its pretty fucking exciting haha!

poacher tomorrow night for anyone in burlington who reads this!!!!

<3333333333333333333333333

perfection.

i cannot believe it took me this long to realize that i'm so much happier and so much better of with things this way.

its been so long since i've been able to say i'm genuinely happy, and i am. i really am.

and things are only gunna get better from here :)

i had a great conversation with nicole today. it made me realize how so many good things come from the bad ones. and that i should be thankful for every step my life has taken, cause without them i wouldn't be exactly where i am right now...and i can't picture wanting to be anywhere else.

i'm excited for life for the first time in years. i'm excited to get up every day and do my job and talk to all my friends and see everyone i love and not have to worry. i don't have to give myself to anyone else right now. which at first was a little weird, but fuck. this is my time. i'm sure i've said all these exact same things a couple entries ago, but i don't give a shit ahah.

my family is having a big dinner tonight. i of course ate out earlier cause no one told me about it haha but whatever. i got to see aunts and uncles i havent seen for ages. i even got a super late belated birthday present! not even knowingly they got me a bath set from sephora, and it comes with a little travel bag with cupcakes on the inside! i was stoked.

anyways, time for more coffee. of course! haah.

<3

would you go along with someone like me

Aries: Your romantic life is about to take an interesting turn. Things are going to get shaken up - get ready!

facebook horoscopes make me excited about life ahahhahaha.

theyve been pretty bang on lately though, so i'm stoked.

they officially know my order at my starbucks. julia went in yesterday and ordered the same thing as me and they were all so astonished. i'm apprently the only person at that location who has ever ordered my drink. they even named it. "naked white mocha". ahahha thats what they call out now.

its gunna suck having to train new starbucks bitches ahhaha.

one more week of this hellhole and i'll be entirely worry free!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

that's all i have to say.

i love myself :)

i need something to do while i let my nails dry and don't touch anything.

i got a manicure today, and in between that and getting coffee i changed my pants in my car to my new pair of extremely tight (and incredibley hot) bermuda shorts...and totally ruined everything! well, ruined my nails at least. but i basically fixed them, so its okay.

i'm glad i've found myself at home right now, and bored, because procrastination has gotten in the way of my date with my resume. i've been meaning to update it for WEEKS now and keep putting it off. that, and packing. but anyways, i have to email it in to chelsea tomorrow so she can forward it to oakville. hopefully they want me :)

if not i'm totally going to work with julia. i'm gunna go crazy without seeing her everyday. :(

this weekend was great. saturday night was awesome. well everything about it except the fact i was fed a poison cookie! but i did survive the attack of the raisins until next time.

yesterday was good too. saw 1408 and got dinner. good movie. john cusak is getting a little too beefy lately...he needs to hit the gym before my love dies. then got coffee and watched children of men. actually i bought it cause i couldn't find it in the rental section ahah! but it was a good movie so i don't mind.

today i went shopping and spend tooooooo much money! i need to start work so bad. my visa is somehow gunna get maxed out again...which isn't hard to believe ahah but would be terrible.

anyways, nails are dry and i need to go try and get some time in on my resume before i probably go drink more caffine!!

xoxox

ch-ch-ch-chaaaangesss

im gunna be completely honest in this post. not hold back, not worry about whom i'm exposing or not. or if anyone really finds out how i really feel.

this past month has been the most fucked up in a long time. its been up and down, my emotions have been all over the court. going over options, what do i really want? who do i really want?

i've figured out i don't want anyone. for the time being, at least. when you give all of yourself to someone, and constantly have it thrown back in your face for something "better", it kind of takes a toll. especially when better doesn't turn out that way at all.

i had a friend tell me not long ago that i have no self respect. as hard as that was to hear, and as harsh as it seems, sometimes brutal honesty is what you need to hear. continuously putting myself into a situation where i already know what the outcome is going to be, is a fucking dumb idea. and i did it countless times.

i'm almost happy by myself.

i'm moving on, and moving up. and i, for the first time in a long time, don't feel like i NEED anyone there with me. to help me through it, to hold my hand. im okay by myself.

as much as i thought that i needed support and just wanted that cushion to fall into, sometimes hitting the ground isnt that bad. and really wakes you up. i don't want things in my life that are going to make me unhappy, or impede its progression. so from now on only positive things and people are allowed in my life. if its going to make me feel like shit, for one second, its not worth it.

and it feels so good to realize and enforce this.

it feels amazing.

this week is full of packing and organizing.

these next couple weeks are going to be insane in regards to me-time.

i'm by myself in a two bedroom apartment, with almost no furniture. no one to talk to.

i can't wait to see how i feel at the end of it ahah.

come over and keep me company if i like you.

xoxoxox

i cannot wait to be back home.

i decided i'm gunna move back the second last weekend in july. fuck my life is so in limbo right now...and i have so much to do in the next three weeks. but at the same time im so stoked that everything is moving on.

this weekend has been pretty crazy. it reminded me how much fun i can have when i'm not worried about other things all the time.

thats all for now. i need coffee.

oh, and ps, because i know you read this...we all know you're still in love with him. get a life. xooooooo!!!

ummmmmmmm.....

in reality, most people i talk to don't make a difference in my life.

so if you don't like me, don't waste either of our time talking to me.

seems pretty simple, doesn't it?

randomness all around

my horoscope for today:

"You'll find yourself in a situation where you want to be flexible, but if you're too laid back, you'll get walked all over. Make your opinion known."

pretty applicable to my life.

my opinion is that i just hate being lied to about anything, but whatever makes you happy, go for it.

i've been having to hit the spacebar on here pretty hard lately. my computer's probably fucked, too. i was suppose to go home this weekend, but after a little too much party last night and not enough sleep before this morning, i decided to stay here and be a loser and watch a movie by myself tonight and sleep. good enough plan for me.

life's been throwing curve balls at me.

i'm totally gunna make this one a home run though.

and am definetly going to stop with the baseball analogies....

ps im watching baseball right now by myself ahha what have i turned into.

whatever, its background noise.

cuddle buddy needed.

that's all.

xox

lame-os and birthday boobie cupcakes, what a week.

i had some stuff written down on here, and then i decided to post pictures and then all the stuff disappeared. it wasn't really anything important, anyways, so don't get too bummed out about it.

i'm not impressed right now. i was a couple minutes ago, but not so much right now. there's certain people who are in my life, who really shouldn't be there at all. and its because of association, and their little weasel ways that they somehow keep making cameos. and i'm pretty over it, to be honest. pretty really over it.

i've sacrificed me being happy for years ahha for what? nothing. obviously it doesn't make me unhappy, anymore, but i just think its lame.

ANYWAAAAAAAAYS fuck that noise, go keep doing everything you want to try to be cool, "bahhhh"-ing the whole way along, and have a nice life.

swam on monday, talked to an old friend today, BBQ with birthday boobie cupcakes on friday. get stoked!

sick of:

-people's holy-er than thou attitudes

-having to walk home past a million crazys every day

-hypocrites

-almost everything to do with this city, actually

-how time passes slowly when you need it to speed up

will always love:

-bff's who listen to me and make me feel better

-licorice parties, with or without other patrons

-telling people all the things that make you a shitty person

-shit-talking, in general, people i don't like

-my big, beautiful bed

-a long overdue cryfest

today was a bad day.

it made me look at some people differently

and made me remember why i love some people so much in the first place.

i need the weekend so bad, and i got another 24 hours until i get to it.

xoxoxo

Color Quiz Click here to read the rest of the results.

this quiz was pretty fucking accurate ahah.

totally interesting to read.

this weekend was good. i had an awesome time at home. fuck toronto, i can't wait to leave. totally gunna be having a see yuh party at the end of july, so keep your ears posted!